Writings

All materials in this post are MY OWN, so please don’t steal them. I worked very hard on these poems, and there’s a lot of emotion I’ve invested into them. They’re personal. So all I ask is for you to leave comments, if you wish, if you like them and want to express your thoughts to me. Thanks.

Newest poems are towards the top… more to come soon.

* * *

Date: March 29, 2013

Title: Healing

I know where I’ve been
but I don’t know where I’m going,
I have a lot to learn and I haven’t stopped growing.
I’m becoming the girl who knows she needs no one
I can only count on me,
I can’t undo my mistakes or what I’ve done
but there’s no doubt in my mind that I can move on.
It’s true that I have loved him from the start
And letting go should never be this hard,
Piece by piece my heart has been ripped apart
But I won’t sit here and dwell on my past,
I can’t allow myself to think back to the days gone bad.
He may have made it hard for me to trust
But my future is something I must not let him control,
In no time I’ll be able to adjust.
It’s no lie when I say I have such hate in my heart
All I want to do is scream and shout,
let all of my emotions out
Call him up and tell him how I feel,
one last chance to be real.
I want him to know what it’s like to feel pain,
What it’s like to be driven insane.
Part of me wants to hurt him just as bad as he hurt me
And then maybe he’d understand what it’s like to be broken in two,
While he pictures the life he has now and the life he once knew
Begging on his knees for a different view,
And then he’d realize what I’ve went through.
He screwed me up and tore me down
I’ve been at my lowest ground,
But I won’t let that destroy my heart
I won’t allow it to tear me apart,
I’ll stay strong
I’ll focus on what’s to come,
Because I know out there is somewhere I belong.
I’ll walk through life with pride
With the moonlight shining bright and God as my guide,
I won’t feel broken inside
And I’ll find that the feelings for him have come to subside.
I’ll lean on friends
As a true friendship never ends,
And I’ll lean on me
Throughout this tough time,
Because there’s always another mountain to climb.
It seems as though life is passing me by
While I watch from the sidelines,
But I’ll get off this bench and walk away
I won’t stand for my skies turning gray.
I’ll focus on here and now
And live the life that I was given,
Without any doubts.

——————————–

Date: March 27, 2013

Title: You Hold The Key

My heart became shattered the moment you left me behind
I tried to put my feelings aside to get by,
but thoughts of you kept popping up inside my mind.
Your words cut through me like a knife,
Darkness began to creep over my life.
I tried my hardest to let you go
To erase all emotions and feelings I had long ago,
To forget what we had and what you meant to me.
The more that I try to push every thought out to sea
To not allow you to consume every part of me,
something leaves me with hope that you’ll return and I can’t break free.
I’m becoming someone I don’t want to be,
So hung up on you and waiting to be the one you come home to.
Deep inside I know it isn’t right
You have your own life and I’ve got mine,
But I lay in bed late at night
replaying in my head our time spent together,
and every time I think about the weather
I wonder if it will ever get better.
I lose myself in music sometimes
To ease the heartache and pain,
but these chains are tugging at my heart
and the further you push me the closer you are.
It’s so sad for me to say that I can’t break away.
I always hear how I’m better off without you around
I want to believe that,
but I also want the one thing that makes me feel content.
Being without you the tears haven’t stopped streaming down my face,
and I can’t escape this numbing state I’m in and this shallow place.
It’s as if I hear you calling my name
and I feel the flames penetrating my heart as I try to grasp a life without you,
I’ve realized long ago that you’re to blame
but I’m stuck here with words left unsaid and my heart being held together
by only a thread.
You were the one who taught me what it was like to be in love
And what it meant to look above and wish upon a shooting star,
that wherever I am – there you are.
It may be difficult being here alone and on my own
but with everything that’s been said and done,
I still have hope.
Hope for better days and hope that you’ll some day see
That my heart may be shattered,
but you’ll always hold the key.
And no matter what anyone has to say,
I just can’t erase your memory.

——————————–

Date: March 27, 2013

Title: I Believe In Better Days

Nothing has ever hurt me more
Than letting go of what I’ve always cared for.
I’ve dealt with heartache and tears
and though I hide it extremely well,
I haven’t been happy in years.
I’ve loved and I’ve lost,
and I’ve been broken to the point that I can’t pick myself up.
My heart’s been torn apart and shattered,
and I missed out on the only thing that mattered.
I taught myself to believe in a better life
To believe that in time I’ll see a better day,
where I’m out there doing good things and being all that I can be.
And I pray
that I won’t become the girl who’s too afraid,
the girl who’s always looking over her shoulder
because she’s constantly being surveyed
and the girl who’s never able to move on from the past
because she’s had a broken heart,
that won’t seem to mend but keeps breaking apart.
I’ve been insecure and hopeless,
Torn apart and nobody knows it.
I’ve been down and out,
sulking in my room because I have doubts.
I’ve been happy and I’ve been sad,
I never thought love could hurt this bad.
I’ve felt numb and worthless,
I just want to serve some sort of purpose.
I’m bruised and scarred,
from the entities of this bleeding heart.
I hold everything in until I lash out,
because I don’t want people to see what I’m all about.
A guard is kept up around my heart,
shielding myself so I don’t fall apart.
If you can make sense of this,
I’m nothing short of a mess.
I wear my heart on my sleeve
and when I get hurt I grieve,
but not where anyone can see.
What I feel is kept deep inside,
where all my feelings will eventually collide.
But I hold my head high,
Because I don’t want it known that my eyes only want to cry.
It’s not easy to act strong,
I’ve been holding everything in for far too long.
I feel more alone now than I ever have,
and I crave nothing more than to be happy again.

——————————–

Date: December 9, 2012

Title: Looking Back

I know where I’ve been
but I don’t know where I’m going,
I have a lot to learn and I haven’t stopped growing.
I’m becoming the girl who knows she needs no one
I can only count on me,
I can’t undo my mistakes or what I’ve done
but there’s no doubt in my mind that I can move on.
It’s true that I have loved him from the start
And letting go should never be this hard,
Piece by piece my heart has been ripped apart
But I won’t sit here and dwell on my past,
I can’t allow myself to think back to the days gone bad.
He may have made it hard for me to trust
But my future is something I must not let him control,
In no time I’ll be able to adjust.
It’s no lie when I say I have such hate in my heart
All I want to do is scream and shout,
let all of my emotions out
Call him up and tell him how I feel,
one last chance to be real.
I want him to know what it’s like to feel pain,
What it’s like to be driven insane.
Part of me wants to hurt him just as bad as he hurt me
And then maybe he’d understand what it’s like to be broken in two,
While he pictures the life he has now and the life he once knew
Begging on his knees for a different view,
And then he’d realize what I’ve went through.
He screwed me up and tore me down
I’ve been at my lowest ground,
But I won’t let that destroy my heart
I won’t allow it to tear me apart,
I’ll stay strong
I’ll focus on what’s to come,
Because I know out there is somewhere I belong.
I’ll walk through life with pride
With the moonlight shining bright and God as my guide,
I won’t feel broken inside
And I’ll find that the feelings for him have come to subside.
I’ll lean on friends
As a true friendship never ends,
And I’ll lean on me
Throughout this tough time,
Because there’s always another mountain to climb.
It seems as though life is passing me by
While I watch from the sidelines,
But I’ll get off this bench and walk away
I won’t stand for my skies turning gray.
I’ll focus on here and now
And live the life that I was given,
Without any doubts.