Your voice is like a ghost inside my head. You whisper lies to try and hurt me again. All the time you doubted me, you’ll see. I was always better than you made me out to be. Not gonna let you down, let you down easy, you’re gonna feel it inside, it’s gonna eat you alive. When I walk away, believe me, the pain will say I told you so. Tearing off the grip you’ve had on me. Time has told me you will never be what I need. The ashes from the hell you put me through, they will be the memories of what’s left of me and you.
Months ago I was pleading for you to stay. But you didn’t. If you did, however, I wouldn’t have found out that things do eventually get better. Some days I miss you and all the good talks we had. I still love you too, but I guess I just don’t like you anymore. It happens.
So what’s the point in getting your hopes up, when all you’re ever getting is choked up. When you’re choked up, and can’t remember the reason why you broke up. You call her in the morning when you’re coming down and falling like an old man on the side of the road. Because when you’re apart, you don’t want to mingle and when you’re together you want to be single.
I know in the back of my mind that life would be so much easier if I never talked to you again. If I shut you out of my life and moved on, I could finally get over you. But you’re the only thing that makes me happy, whether it’s right or wrong. And I don’t have the strength to give up on that.
I found myself standing at your door, just like all those times before. I’m not sure how I got there. All the roads, they lead me to you. I imagine you are home, in your room all alone. But you find it in you to open the door, piercing your eyes into mine, and everything feels better.
And they tell you that you’re lucky. But you’re so confused, because you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.
Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it’ll be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Say it enough that one day you’ll actually believe it. Remind yourself that things have changed; it changed for a reason. People change for a reason. You just have to let go and move on. It’s going to be hard, and you’re going to be lonely, but just hold on. Because who’s to say that tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life.?
They say the first time won’t ever last, but that didn’t stop me the first time he laughed. All my friends tried to warn me the day that we met, girl don’t lose your heart yet. But his dark eyes dared me with danger and sparks flew like a flame to a paper; the fire in his touch burning me up but still I held on, because I was already gone. The last time I saw him, we packed up our things and he smiled like the first time he told me his name and we cried with each other. We split the blame for the parts that we couldn’t change. Pictures, dishes, socks, it’s our whole life down to one box. There he was waving goodbye on the front porch alone, because I was already gone.
If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too. I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you. I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high, because when I close my eyes I’m somewhere with you.
I miss him the most in the night time. It’ll be the dead of night, when it feels like you are the only person in the world awake. Those are the times where I just wanna curl up into his arms again and have him hold me tight, as we whisper sweet nothings to one another. It’s always about 2 a.m. when I wanna call him crying, asking him to just come home.
I am unbreakable, but it looks like I could break soon. And you’re about as unreachable as me touching the moon. I am unbearably empty. And if this ground gives way… I just hope you’ll catch me.
Lately I’ve been numb, but I swear I’m getting better. Or maybe it’s just begun, but it really doesn’t matter. ‘Cause the way I see it, things will end as they’re meant to. Just like we do.
Pieces of you still live in this house, and if walls could talk, maybe we’d still be together. Or maybe we’d just have died sooner. But they’ll echo the sounds of you forever.
Don’t waste your breath on words that weren’t meant to be said. Just let the broken record play silently in your head. I know right now it’s hard to hold things in. But it’ll get easier, the more you sin.
We’re not infinite, but we can pretend. I want you to drink with me and for a while we can put off the end. Look kid, I’m not one for sad goodbyes, so I’ll just say “see you later.” Just promise me you’ll try.
I’ve always wanted for you what you’ve wanted for yourself, yet I wanted to save us high water or hell. So I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt, and in the meantime, I lost myself.
We thought we could keep the world at bay. With just each other we’d have somewhere to lay. You said I was the girl of your dreams. I laughed and said, “I guess we’re still both asleep.” Oh, life can be so hard to relay, because the words just don’t come out the right way. I’ll put your memory card on a shelf. Sometimes you just gotta take care of yourself.
After a while, you just can’t cry anymore. You just have to believe that what happens is what’s supposed to happen, and you can’t change that. Even if you tried. So just dry the tears and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
Have you ever wanted to ask a question, but you didn’t because you knew in your heart that you wouldn’t be able to handle the answer.?
I stared at him, wishing more than anything that the future would never happen. That this moment would last forever, or if it couldn’t, that I would stop existing when it did.
People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the worlds “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional, and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures, if we’re plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want to guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars, and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we know wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep the music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self-consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to please each other. We just want love. In any and every form.
A wrong relationship will make you feel more alone than when you were single.
The next day, I’ll write, “You are happy, even if you are afraid to admit it.” And it makes sense. Because how many times have I heard everyone complaining and complaining and complaining.? As if sitting back and acknowledging that things aren’t all that bad is somehow wrong.
It doesn’t matter if he texts me in the morning and not her. It doesn’t matter if I can make him smile. It doesn’t matter if I know him better than she does. It doesn’t matter if I like him, because he likes her.
People have said that I’ve changed so much. Well here’s the honest truth. I grew up. I stopped letting people push me around. I learned that you can’t always be happy. I accepted reality.
Sweetheart, you can’t bullshit me. See, I’ve lied to myself enough to know when someone else is doing it. So let’s try this again, and how about the truth this time.
It’s better to wait years for that one person you’re sure of, than to grab that chance with someone who picks you up, but drops you whenever they want to.
Never compare your love story with those in the movies, because they were written by scriptwriters. Yours is written by God.
If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you, but for some reason he couldn’t stay, don’t cry too much, just be glad that your paths crossed and somehow he made you happy… even for a while.
Sometimes we tend to be in despair, when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it’s not our loss but theirs… they left the only person that wouldn’t give up on them for the world.
But we go days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened, but it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because of that, I stopped missing you.
Remember when you were little.? Your daddy had you talked into the fact that you were a princess, and deserved nothing but the best. He wasn’t just telling you that to make you feel special at the time. He wanted you to hold onto that bit of information for the rest of your life, and now is the time to start remembering.
I’m not gonna be that rebound girl, the girl you just come to when you want her, the girl who loves you with everything she has but yet you give nothing. I’m not willing to be that girl any more. Sorry, sweetie. But I’m gone.
I will only continue to be who I am. 